insufficent good byes

all day today there has been something on my heart, and also the cause of a lot of tears. when someone dear to you passes away, either by natural causes or taken at the hand of someone else, it hurts, so badly. you usually mourn over the fact that you will never see them again, and you think back to your last memory of them. did you say good-bye? and if you did, was your good-bye sufficient? that’s what has been eating at me today. a very, very good friend of mine was killed last year. a friend of mine last night asked if i could go back in time and change one day, would i? and what day would it be? for the longest time i would tell people i never want to change anything. despite the pain i have been through, and the things that if changed would have made my life much easier, i would never change any of it. it makes me who i am now, and for that fact alone i wouldn’t change a thing. i love who i am. but there is one day i would want to experience all over again. it was the last day i saw him, and as he was walking out the door i said a casual good-bye! see you later! that good-bye was nowhere near sufficient enough. that day changed me forever, every good-bye means so much to me, every good-bye has to be sufficient, because you never know if it’s your last. that is what i would change. that one good-bye. because it was not a sufficient good-bye.




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One thought on “insufficent good byes

  1. Pingback: Finite « cpink

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