not as they seem

i had to learn the hard way in my last year of high school that nothing is ever as it seems. there are all these cliques in school, groups of people based on popularity or whatever. everyone knows there will be cliques, there is nothing anyone can do to change that. but things happen to people. i remember my junior year i had a very traumatizing experience. but despite what happened i still had to go back to school on monday. do you show it? do you show the horrifying pain you have? do you scream because no one is listening? no one would understand, that’s how you lose friends. but i remember walking up and down the halls to and from classes, seeing the same faces i had seen every day, i knew all of their names, i knew who was a bitch, who was an ass. who played football, who was on the cheerleading squad, who got high, who was failing. did any of them know me? what did they think of me? did they even think of me? and behind this fake smile i put up, this face to show everything was okay did any of them have the urge to ask if something was wrong? and why did i even care what they thought or if they knew? i was at the point where i was walking with no one, i had lost the majority of my friends, i ended school with maybe 2? no one is as they seem. all the pretty popular girls, could have the worst home life imaginable. those hot football players, could be constantly yelled at when they’re home. we never really know what’s going on. that fact alone breaks my heart. due to the fact that we never truly know, some one out there could have gone through the same thing, could help you through your problem. but they have up that face. there is a part of me that wishes we were all like crystal glasses, with tiny tv screens on the inside, that plays our memories, our problems, our true feelings. who would be your friend then? would you still try wearing your face? would the cliques even exist? we’ll never really know.

 

signed

violet

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